2005-12-14 - 7:05 a.m.

SO this is one of the Christmas card reject photos. It was rejected because 1) it's a little fuzzy (I need a better camera than my 2 megapixel pocket jobber with no zoom), and 2) it makes Mr. Will look like a perfect angel of a child, which we all know he is not. I like the picture anyway, though.

Hopefully, I will get the family ones in the mail today. We took the picture Sunday, ordered the cards Monday, picked them up Tuesday (thank you, Costco! 50 cards for $15.99!), and will send them today and tomorrow.

Christmas cards are one of those things that make me feel particularly "grown up." I *never* send Christmas cards before I had a child. I bought them some years--even went so far as to address them on occasion. But send them--never happened. Now, it seems to be one of the responsibilities of parenthood.

Last night, Kirk was watching TV when I got into bed. A few minutes later, a commercial for Avalon came on. I made an idle comment. "Never went to Avalon, except to see shows*. Went to Axis lots of times. But never Avalon."

Kirk looked at me very seriously and asked, "Do you feel a hole in your life now because of it?"

Ha! Truthfully, it just made me feel old. My club girl days are over. Now, I send Christmas cards with photos of my son on them.

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I've thought a lot about my entry from yesterday about imaginary conversations and the similarities between Kirk and Tim. I've come to the conclusion that the situation speaks less about the sameness of the men I love and more about where MY weakness in communication lies. Obviously, if it's something that drove me batshit about Tim, and now, ten years later, it's driving me batshit about Kirk, I'm not expressing my needs very well, am I? Or maybe that's just my way of pussyfooting around the issue, because I just don't want them to be alike...

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*Of historical Jennifer note, Avalon was the site of the Bob Mould show where I first met Tim, as well as the They Might Be Giants concert where I met JTTYPOM.

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