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Creative writing
2005-09-22 - 4:30 p.m.

I wrote a short story today.

It was about four pages long, first draft. And it was good. Really, really good. It just poured out of my mind. My fingers moved quickly, typing the words out onto the screen. I wasn't even thinking, really--just doing.

When I was done, I took a deep breath and reread it. I could *feel* how good it was.

And then I closed the document. The computer popped up and asked me if I wanted to save the changes to the document before closing. I said no.

It hurt too much to have it out there. There was way too much of me on that screen, on a subject I don't want to see. Nor do I want anyone else to see it. Ever. It's still too hard. Feelings about it are too raw. Even years later.

So how do I feel about just having deleted possibly the best thing I've ever written?

Like I do about a lot of things in my life. It might not have been the right decision, but at least it wasn't the wrong one.

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