I am such a friggin' grownup.
2006-03-22 - 4:05 p.m.

I re-upped my supergold this morning, so the comments are now active again. I just couldn't stand the little red X's where the Jenistar should be any more.

IN other news of note, I have become such a grownup that I scare myself. About half an hour ago, I was sitting at my desk, half typing and half procrastinating, when I became aware that the kid voices I could hear outside were much closer than I'd first thought. A quick look out the office window revealed seven or so kids, all around 10-ish, climbing on the backhoe and making general nuisances of themselves in my mom's yard.

Groaning, I dragged myself down the stairs and opened the door. The kids didn't even blink when they saw me walk toward them. i was fairly pleasant the first time. "Hey guys--sorry, but you can't play on that." They looked at me, blinked, and slowly started to climb down. All but one, who continued his trek up to the roof of the cab--the ROOF! I took a few steps forward. "YOU CAN'T PLAY ON THAT!" I repeated, getting more annoyed with each footstep.

One of the girls yelled up to him. "Hey, we have to go." They started through the yard, slowly crossing the giant trench to the street. I walked to the front of our house to get the mail. I paused halfway up the driveway. They were still there, playing in the trench and the trees that line the front of the lot.

Now, I had crossed annoyed and was pushing headlong into angry. "YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THERE! THIS ISN'T YOUR YARD. GO PLAY SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

One of the boys turned around. "It isn't your yard, either. Shut up!"

I walked up closer to them, steam coming out my ears. "Actually, it IS my yard. And you MAY NOT PLAY IN IT. Go. Somewhere. Else."

They meandered up the street, casting not-quite-audible slurs in my direction the whole way, pausing every few feet to see if I was still watching.

Madelyn, my 80-something-year-old neighbor pulled into her driveway while I was standing in the middle of the street, arms crossed, watching the retreating figures. I walked to her car. "Madelyn, do you know who those kids belong to?"

She didn't. As I stood there and related the story to her, it hit me. I am such a grownup. I just yelled at kids for playing in my yard.

If our house gets egged tonight, it will just seal the deal.


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