Pilates and anniversaries and babies, oh my
2005-08-08 - 9:57 p.m.

Pilates totally kicked my ass tonight. Two hours after our class and the rubber band feeling hasn't faded one bit. This is good, though.

I've had only four classes and already I am stronger. I can bring myself into tabletop position without having my pelvis poke out all unbidden, and my legs actually stayed in the spots they were supposed to stay in while I did 100's in tabletop position. I know--if you don't do pilates yourself, that means nothing. I'll cease the bragging just by saying that it's unquestionably not something I was strong or controlled enough to do a month ago. This is good.

Brian told me before I started the classes how hard it would be. I agreed, but didn't really understand. With pilates, it's all about the little movements. I'm used to grand gestures. I guess that's true in most of life, for just about everyone. We're so busy with the big stuff that the little things, the ones that really make a difference, don't seem like enough, if they get noticed at all.

I feel safe to say that I am *all* about the little things these days.

Kirk is off to NYC tomorrow for a big work meeting. He'll stay overnight and visit with Amy and Lon a bit before heading back on Wednesday. This is good--the visiting part. I'm glad he gets a chance to do that. I'm sad about the away part. Even overnight seems odd for him to be gone.

Our three-year anniversary is in three weeks. We'll celebrate by taking our first babyless journey. Two days in Kingston by ourselves. I can't even imagine how it will be to not be governed by the nap schedule for a couple days.

Last weekend, my cousin Danny told me he'd had a premonition I'd show up and announce I was pregnant. I laughed and assured him it wasn't true. Started me thinking, though. I've said, over and over, that I'm not ready to start over yet. But then I looked at our lives, thought about the fact that two years in, we're just starting to get to the point where Will isn't dependent on us 24-7, and wondered: the farther we get from that constant need, the more independence Will and I gain from eachother, will the idea of starting over again at square one with another child become an easier prospect or a harder one? For the first time, I understood the wisdom of having your children close together.

The other prospect, then, is accepting the idea of being a one-child family. Truth is, I am wholeheartedly amazed at how okay I am with that prospect. At least, I'm okay with it *most* of the time.

I still look at Will and am amazed he's really mine. How is it possible I have a child, let alone this little boy with the curly hair and the serious deadpan sense of humor and the uncanny ability to melt my heart into a giant gooey lovey mess 1000 times a day? I remember his birth (and just in case I forget, there are photos to remind me around here somewhere) very clearly--I logically *know* he came from me. But I just look at him and wonder how on earth I rated this miracle. Sounds cheesy, doesn't it. We're high on the cheese factor in the Jenistar household these days. That's okay--I'm gathering it's all a part of parenthood.

Speaking of cheese, I have dishes to do. Miles to go before I sleep and just a short time before I turn into a pumpkin. Happy Monday all...

Oh, and before I forget, happy birthday again to HSBF Scott. Thanks for paving the way into 35, Scott. Don't feel too lonely--I'm right there behind you!


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